My New Dating Profile

Not looking for a relationship, lover, or partner — have long given up on the idea that there is any man out there who wants what I do. So what am I here for? The dick pics, pure and simple.

Ok not really. Actually, I’m just here to take one for the team. Women, men, the human race team.

Men, do you find that you’re repeatedly striking out on the dating apps? It could be that shirtless bathroom selfie on your profile, or the several photos with random different women that are obviously not your mother or daughter. Most of us don’t want to see your pecs before you’ve even taken us for coffee. And if you’re that excited to get a picture with every hot chick you can find, we can pretty much bet you’re only looking for sex.

Or it could be the lack of stimulating conversation once you do match.

I’m here to help you not miss out on the perfect match for you by providing a place to put all your annoying habits so you won’t have to spew them onto someone who might actually be good relationship material for you.

Please, come to me for your boring back and forth textuationship that contains no effort whatsoever on your part to get to know the…